Distraction ramble

The days recovery really counts is the ones that are the hardest the ones where you spend all day fighting with your mind and today is one of them days actually so was yesterday, I’m sat here after finishing lunch feeling so guilty and disgusted with myself just for adding croutons to my soup sitting with the urges to get rid of it I am determined not to go down that path so at the moment me writing on here is my distraction, the amount of times I have sat here trying to convince myself that I don’t have a problem and they have got it wrong and then days like today makes me realise I do have a problem but got to keep telling myself that I can get better and not give in to the eating disorder I am worth more than this horrible illness